On Awesomeness and Being Awesome

A while ago, I wrote this: I’ve been doing my best lately to be awesome, and the conclusion that I’m beginning to reach is that not only does being awesome take a lot of work, it also makes more pressure on oneself to be continually awesome, rather than allowing oneself to be awesome just now and […]

It Puts Its Name on the Dotted Line…

Violent thoughts. Rage, burning inside like hot coals dipped in acid. The bile rises, choking off any semblance of refreshment that breathing could offer. The blood boils, setting the skin on fire. People, everywhere. They stir uncomfortably like rats in a cage, going about their mindless fidgeting ignorantly, hopelessly. Escape is an incomprehensible fate. They […]

Avast Ye!!!

Change is in the wind, my friends. Take heed and let hope spring eternal in all your tingly bits, for the time is soon coming for abject jubilation. I know that sounds really classical and awesome, and you’re probably wondering who wrote it. Shakespeare, maybe. Or Hemingway. Well I just made it up suckas, so that’ll teach […]

Help Wanted: Not as Simple as it Sounds

Lately I’ve been re-tooling my resume for the inevitable (and looming) relocation. As anyone who’s ever sought gainful employment will tell you, this is a very humbling, soul-redefining sort of experience. I mean, honestly. How the hell are you supposed  to eloquently describe your entire self being in one measly page of elegantly professional text? […]

Pro-League Crastination!

Okay, I am a terrible person. Look how quickly I abandon my goal of writing on here EVERY day. However, in my defense, I DID finish two whole chapters this week in my race to the finish/typical leaving things up to the last minute Goalarama 2011. So suck on that, world!

Goal of the Week: Tuesday

One of my latest goals is to write something every day. This will probably always not translate to this blog (sadly, for some, perhaps) but I’ll do my best not to slack off. This week, I’ve decided to take a noun every day and describe it as though it’s for the first time. So here […]

Helena Handbasket

***Full disclosure: I first posted this on facebook, but I’m re-posting it because it’s important. Also, I’ve added a few things. Today, I came to a very important realization. When it comes to looking at the world in all its miraculously flawed beauty, there really are only three major attitudes one can adopt. First, there […]

Re: “My Boss is Stalking Me”

Dear Human Resources Department, I would like to lodge a formal complaint about my boss. It’s very awkward, and I really hate to complain, but…. You see, I think she’s stalking me. Here’s why I think this is a serious problem: I first noticed her interest while I was away from my desk. I’d been […]

Re: Every e-mail forward, EVER.

Dear Friend, I am Nigerian royultee, and I wud like to share with yoo a story that recently happnd to my best friend’s sister’s cousin: One day, while walking along the side of the road, my best friend’s sister’s cousin saw a strange van following her. Because she was in the parking lot at an undetermined Wal-Mart […]

Onward, Forwards!!!

Welcome to my new E-mail forwards series.   Why, you might ask? Basically, I work in an office. So I get a lot of forwarded e-mails. Some are funny, some are okay…most not so much. In fact, a lot of them are variations on the EXACT same theme, whether it be an uninformed (like, waaaaay uninformed) rant […]

Let Me Put My Thoughts in You…

So I’ve been alive for about twenty-five years, (give or take) and in that time I’ve accumulated a few tiny pieces of knowledge that I would like to share with you, if you don’t mind… I’ve learned that whenever people’s voices get higher, it’s usually because they’re saying the exact opposite of what they’re thinking. […]


Life is a struggle. Plants struggle to grow up through the dirt, baby turtles struggle to army-crawl their way across the burning sand before seagulls make brunch of them, and apes struggle to become more like human beings. I struggle to understand why. Why don’t we have flying cars yet? Why are pants plural? Why […]

Tell Tale Details

Have you ever noticed that sometimes, it’s the little things that tell you about a person? Like the old adage goes, “Do what I say and not what I do” or something like that. Only in reverse. I was just thinking about this earlier tonight, and here are some of the things I noticed: My […]

The Seven Yard Rule

Hey everyone, I know it’s been a little while… and I’m sorry. Did you miss me? Are you feeling alone in the world without my occasionally biting, yet ingenious rhetoric? Do you sometimes lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling, and think “Why have you forsaken me, Vandersun!? WHY?” I thought as much. By […]

Conversations from Another Aisle…

There are always those days where you overhear things you wish you hadn’t. For me, those days are usually few and far between–because I usually enjoy a good eavesdrop, especially when it’s none of my business–but today it was onee for the record books. Should’ve just left in the earbuds. “…and then he was like, don’t stick […]

March Madness: A little late, I know…

Every year, I have a short period of emotional hibernation that I like to call “March Madness.” It usually only lasts a few weeks (and I’m proud to say that it’s never happened at any other time during the year) but nevertheless, try as I might this seasonal miasma seems impossible to shake off. Usually, […]

Notes from Stalingrad

It’s recently been pointed out to me that my notes have been a bit miasmic in tone of late–or, in layman’s terms, “A trip to the birthplace of Debbie Downer,” aka “Bummertown.” Never one to intentionally bum out the small (yet very, very important) readership I’ve cultivated over the years (or as I like to call […]

Love is…

Never not having to say you’re sorry. Telling someone “it’s okay,” even when it’s not yet. Being hilarious in awkward situations, and refusing to be awkward in embarrassing–yet hilarious–situations. Accepting someone not in spite of, but in the entirety of their failures and triumphs put together. Refusing to judge untill all of the details are […]

Random Phobias I Might Have

I know it’s a total copout—not to mention a torrid embrace of all things lazy and unoriginal, which is basically the same thing, I realize—but there are times when I’m not all that into linear thinking. During those times, I just gotta let myself sort out my turbulent thoughts in whatever format they happen to […]

Who I Think I Might Be, In 800 Words or Less

This is a paper that I wrote for a class. I was supposed to introduce myself and explain why I am passionate about my major in around 750 words. This is what I came up with at 2 in the morning. The Talk I Walk As I sit here writing this cleverly worded, seven hundred […]

Stress Kills… But Inaction Suffocates

This post goes out to my single friends. Also, I think if we switch some words around a bit, it could quite easily apply to my professional life as well. Whenever a door closes, another one (or a window) opens. Variations of such. It just wasn’t meant to be. Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you […]