One of my latest goals is to write something every day. This will probably always not translate to this blog (sadly, for some, perhaps) but I’ll do my best not to slack off.
This week, I’ve decided to take a noun every day and describe it as though it’s for the first time. So here we go…
How would I describe the taste of cheese to someone who is lactose intolerant?
Someone hands you a two pound block of cheddar cheese. At first, you think this substance is artificial or inedible. But that’s only because of its color and the fact that most cheese is manufactured in geometric, non-edible looking blocks. But then you decide to cut off a chunk and taste it, just in case. When the shard of squishy orange stuff hits your tongue, there is a brief moment of panic. It tastes sharp and pungent, almost like the tang of a melon that has gone bad. But then it begins to melt, and the salty, complicated flavor begins to sink into your tongue. You begin to think of basic foods to pair it with, such as popcorn or crackers. Or maybe you’re a little more creative, and you’re thinking “I could eat this with apples or with boysenberry jam.” But the best part is yet to come, because the next thing you eat–whatever that might be–will taste like a totally new food when it enters your mouth. Sweets are sweeter, salts are saltier, and Diet Cola is so much more satisfying, because it erases all trace and leaves you hungering to taste it again for the first time.
That, my dairy-abhorrent friend, is what cheese tastes like.
I wouldn’t bother using words if a lactose intolerant person really wanted to know what cheese tastes like. I’d get a nice cheese selection together perhaps with a few fruit parings and a garbage can – then instruct them to chew and spit. Gross, but effective.
Of course, that brutal approach lacks the elegance of your writing.
Then again, you’re talking in the general direction the person who frequently forgets that, like, half her current friends are all lactose intolerant. One of these days I won’t offer them cheesy pizza or ice-cream, but I have yet to really get that through my head.