Pumpkin Spice Anxiety

Each day is a fresh new opportunity to show the world what you’re made of. Some days, you’re made of honor. Courage. Art. Other days, you’re comprised of potatoes. Baked. Fried. Or liquefied, into vodka. (Or perhaps, all of the above.) Really, you have to look at your life as a semi-intentional mix of many […]

Hell As a Teenage Girl

Teenage girls aren’t publishing novels Lauded as classics, mined for insight in troubling times But they could be, if only we’d let them And oh, the novels they would write More effortlessly satirical than Franzen, wryer than Wilde More epic than Tolkien Sweeping and poignant, like Shelley and Brontë But rooted in the incomprehensible present […]

Sticks & Stones

Thanks to the constant melee that is 2020, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about throwing stuff. Literally and metaphorically. But mostly, metaphorically. When you’re full of angst at all times, existing in a constant state of flight or fight (but mostly fight, if you’re me,) and vacillating between incandescent rage and disassociation, it can […]

The Truth About August

Every August 1st, I think of my childhood friend, Hayley. She used to have this saying: “Nothing good ever happens in August.” Each summer during high school, whenever we’d invite her out to do stuff, she’d reply, “I can’t, it’s August.” Regardless of the planned activity–and to be honest, it usually wasn’t all that thrilling, […]

Speaking Dreams into Paranormal Reality

Confession: I would absolutely slay a Buffy-related IP project. Not many people know this about me, but I used to absolutely worship Cordelia. Give me Faith, or give me death. (My roller derby number is an homage: five by five.)     “Tact is just not saying true stuff. I’ll pass.” — Cordelia Chase

Angst is a Big Part of My Brand™

For those who are joining this party already in progress, you may find yourself observing something along the lines of WOW, OKAY, SHE IS KIND OF A LOT But rest assured, this is part of the plan, the spin, the subjectively applied filter that takes a person and turns them into A Package Kind of […]

A New Year

There was so much to be afraid of, proud of, and grateful for (in 2019) Holding onto the past was a pastime we sought to reject Instead of blaming, or destroying, we (some of us) chose to build…and yet Sometimes, it’s exhausting, and difficult to believe (in a new year)   Yesterday, we thought things […]

I Reserve the Right to…

Today, I feel ______________. But I know that can’t last. Because I’ve always survived—somehow—those things in my past That made me feel ___________, or __________, or scared. So, even though I’m feeling ________________, I’m also prepared. Today, I can’t ______________, because I am grieving. But tomorrow, I’ll be _____________. Because I’m bent on achieving _______________ […]

What I Like About Me

“To love oneself, is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” Oscar Wilde said that. “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams.” Lady Gaga. You go, girl. “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.” Robert […]

Alone

If I’m going to feel lonely, I’d rather be alone. There are few feelings worse, in my opinion, Than being surrounded by others who are actively Engaging with one another, while actively disengaged From you. Even if it’s only one person, And that person is choosing not to connect with you. Even—especially—though you’re the only […]

Anymore

You can’t hurt me. You have no power over me. You don’t get to tell me what to do. You don’t live here. Anymore. I don’t trust you. I don’t love you. I don’t think about you. I don’t want you. Anymore. I’m not going to cry over you. You’re not the center of my […]

Dream Brighter

When I was five, Or maybe six, I wanted to be a princess. But as I grew, Somehow I knew My life was meant for greatness. I wanted to build, And teach, and save The world for future generations. Then I met you, And forgot what I knew. My new dream was your adoration. Now […]

What Was I Saying?

You can’t get fish from a pear tree. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too. You can’t force oil and water to mix. When the cats are away, the mice will play. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Where there is no trust, […]

The Danger of Diagnosis

  When I think of the ones who’ve broken my heart In all my life, even if I didn’t know it then There exists a common thread between their stories In that someone else in their lives had already broken them   Does it make it easier, I wonder, to forgive yourself For intentionally doing […]

Take Back the Fight

  Breathe in through the hopefulness Exhale through the pain Grit your teeth to dam your tears Grip tightly to your shame   Hate the words that brought you comfort Loathe the places you once cherished Take a picture of your suffering Hang it up, don’t be embarrassed   Flaunt your jaded, broken beauty Slap […]