When first you step into a coffee shop in SoCarb (which, by the way, is my hyper-cool new nickname for the Southern Caribbean) you might find yourself doing one of those “Hey this looks nice and they have those little bread–HOLY S#%* $20 for a coffee!!?” faces. Then it hits you. Oh!!! That’s right, we’re […]
A little advice, from me to you. Even if you’re desperate, Even if you’re starving to death and think you can’t go on, Even if it’s not too expensive, Even if it’s 2:30 in the afternoon and you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere and you realize you haven’t eaten anything all day, Never, ever. […]
Let me tell you something about transportationists. Compared to American cab drivers, island taxi drivers–for the most part–are cheaper friendlier, more polite, and usually smell much better than one usually finds in the larger US cities. That said, EVERYONE in the world (and I do mean everyone) no matter their race, language, economic status or […]
Oh, man I love Halloween. I was just thinking the other day about how wistful I feel about not being able to attend my friends parties. Especially with all the costume ideas I had this year. As I am absent the festivities, feel free to steal these. But make sure you post pictures and do […]
What can I say about Puerto Rico? Never having been here before, the only thoughts I can really offer are directly related to incorrect former assumptions. For example: I thought it would be louder. I thought there would be more dancing in the streets, preferably choreographed. I didn’t realize it would look so much like […]
Hmm… I feel like I’ve done this before. Deja vu, Deja vu… Oh, right! I HAVE done this before. Back when I moved away to Vail, all by myself, all those years ago. So I won’t go on ad nauseum. But just so you know, here’s what you should be feeling grateful for this season: […]
When we pulled in to Newport, Rhode Island, I asked a guy what Rhode Island was known for. He shrugged, then walked away. That was when I realized. Rhode Island’s main export? Apathy. In 1791, when Rhode Island was first added to the union of states, the flag makers asked the first governmental body of […]
1. You’ll never appreciate toilet paper until it’s rationed. 2. A human being’s so-called “internal compass” means nothing when you live on what is essentially a giant moving compass point. 3. There are places where beer is actually cheaper than soda.
It’s frigging cold here, and everyone speaks French. What is happening? What is HAPPENING!!?? AaAaaaaAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!! Ooh, beniets… The end.
In the spirit of the Faceless Men, (Game of Thrones reference. Love it!!!) I’m going to try and post new things I learn, three at a time. Here is what I’ve learned this week: 1. It is not a good idea to bring nothing but 4-5 inch heels on a ship. (Not because you’re not […]
Sorry, friends. This is the first time I’ve had service since NYC. Needless to say, this last week has been a HUGE adventure. The first day on our new ship was not unlike the first day of camp; excitement, butterflies and new friends are soon followed by brimming tears and the sudden and visceral urge […]
Gentle rumbles. Stranger grumbles. Smelly. On or off. Uncovered cough. Distance. Take it here. Take it there. Token. Man, it’s a good thing I’m not Asian. I suck at haiku. Really.
You know how sometimes you’ll be drinking tea and you’ll forget to stir it? The longer you drink it and the closer you get to the bottom, the sweeter it gets. Until you’re practically choking on the nauseating lumps of pure sugar that poison the dregs? I know someone whose personality is a lot like […]
I’m having an Edgar Allan Poe sort of a day. “Alone” by EAP From childhood’s hour I have not been As others were — I have not seen As others saw — I could not bring My passions from a common spring — From the same source I have not taken My sorrow — I […]
Thursday has always been my favorite day of the week. I’m not sure if it’s because I like the anticipation of it being “almost, but not quite” Friday, or if it’s because that’s when the best TV shows are usually on. But regardless of the reason, Thursday is my power day. My yellow sun, if […]
Today is a day for sinning. Today, I want to worship things that shouldn’t be worshipped, like bacon. I want to create graven images and sign them with my name in bright red for all the world to see. I want to take the Lord’s name in vain, along with a lot of other vile […]
Today I want to take a little break from bemoaning the happenings and portents of my epic little life and focus on something a little bit more universal: honest to goodness, real-life, hurts-to-the-bone, stalk-someone-into-witness-protection LOVE. I recently watched a movie where the two main characters spent almost the entire two hours railing on the ridiculous […]
True Blood is awesome. Game of Thrones is masterful. Sundays are good now.
And so begins the Post-Apocalyptic Zombie Takeover… You knew this day would come, didn’t you? You’ve been planning for it, secretly, back there in the darkest recesses and out of the way storage cubbyholes of your mind. Don’t be ashamed, we’ve all thought about it. The question is, what will we do now that the glorious […]
I know, I know I promised I’d stop laying on the heavy. But this week has been… pretty damn apocalyptic as far as life events go. Per my mother’s advice, I’ve spent the last 24 hours (or so) trying to feel nothing but GRATITUDE for the things I still have. But the thing is, I’m […]
I got some very bad news today, and I don’t know how to explain it except in the most melodramatic terms. This is because the pain is still fresh, I suppose. Hopefully I’ll be able to put things in perspective soon. She didn’t know how it happened. One moment she was standing there, as if […]
A while ago, I wrote this: I’ve been doing my best lately to be awesome, and the conclusion that I’m beginning to reach is that not only does being awesome take a lot of work, it also makes more pressure on oneself to be continually awesome, rather than allowing oneself to be awesome just now and […]
Violent thoughts. Rage, burning inside like hot coals dipped in acid. The bile rises, choking off any semblance of refreshment that breathing could offer. The blood boils, setting the skin on fire. People, everywhere. They stir uncomfortably like rats in a cage, going about their mindless fidgeting ignorantly, hopelessly. Escape is an incomprehensible fate. They […]
Change is in the wind, my friends. Take heed and let hope spring eternal in all your tingly bits, for the time is soon coming for abject jubilation. I know that sounds really classical and awesome, and you’re probably wondering who wrote it. Shakespeare, maybe. Or Hemingway. Well I just made it up suckas, so that’ll teach […]