Someone (I think it was Charles Dickens or maybe Earnest Hemingway) once said that new ideas are like bastard children. They take our time and attention away from what we should be focusing on–our current project, whatever that may be–and should be mercilessly killed if we ever hope to realize our true purpose. Now, I’m […]
There once was a struggling writer, Who thought she could be wound no tighter. But when her boss said “do this” She was too dumb to resist. Now she’ll be pulling an all-nighter. (The End.)
Lately I’ve been re-tooling my resume for the inevitable (and looming) relocation. As anyone who’s ever sought gainful employment will tell you, this is a very humbling, soul-redefining sort of experience. I mean, honestly. How the hell are you supposed to eloquently describe your entire self being in one measly page of elegantly professional text? […]
“Nothing worth having ever comes easy.” I don’t know who said that, but it’s so incredibly freaking true. For me, humility has always been the starting point for everything worthwhile I accomplish, instead of the result. I know that’s probably a little backwards, but it’s only after a huge failure or humiliation that I begin […]
As William Shakespeare once (allegedly) wrote, “you can call it anything you want, but it’s still the same skunk cabbage.” Or…something… Anyway, my point is that it doesn’t frigging matter what you call it. At the end of the day, it is what it is. Labeling people, practices or ideas with helpful little monikers is only […]
Okay, I am a terrible person. Look how quickly I abandon my goal of writing on here EVERY day. However, in my defense, I DID finish two whole chapters this week in my race to the finish/typical leaving things up to the last minute Goalarama 2011. So suck on that, world!
I just got home from a twice in one day flight to Las Vegas, and no I wasn’t doing anything awesome like counting cards for Kevin Spacey. (One can dream, though) During my travels, a couple of things struck me that I’d like to share with y’all. (All three of you who read this blog, […]
Lately, I’ve been stuck in this sort of purgatory between my current life/career and the life/career that I will (hopefully) have a year from now. I feel like there’s this sort of marshy, uncertain territory that lies between where you are and where (or what) you want to be when you “grow up.” For some, it’s fame and fortune. […]
Acerophobia- Fear of sourness. Aerophobia- Fear of drafts, air swallowing, or airbourne noxious substances. Agateophobia- Fear of insanity. Apiphobia- Fear of bees. Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers. Autodysomophobia- Fear of one that has a vile odor. Bathmophobia- Fear of stairs or steep slopes. Chionophobia- Fear of snow. Chiroptophobia- Fear of bats. Cyprinophobia – Fear of prostitutes or […]
A shout out to all those who are willing to be inconvenienced in the interest of saving the environment, mother earth, and the future of the human race. So what if apples and oranges are awkward to eat and make your fingers sticky? So what if your electric car makes you look like you’d lose […]
Yesterday I was having an e-mail conversation with my dear writer-friend when she mentioned feeling that her characters were “run of the mill” or one-dimensional, whereas mine seemed more “real” or complex. Faced with such flattery, I had to admit to her that I am a big fat cheater. Because I don’t create my characters out of thin air. […]
Lately, I’ve been formulating a theory. I realize it’s not often that the “real world” can boast sterling examples of moral character without alternately finding a way to tear that person down. One only has to look at the way Christopher Hitchins went after Mother Teresa or how Winston Churchill talked trash against Gandhi to realize that even the best people […]
Today’s analogy: Diet Coke : My Brain :: God Particle : Big Bang
Okay people, it’s time to stop playing around. Up until now, I’ve been sneakily working on this book (along with my little secret club of Closeted Novelists–not kidding, that is our actual name) in between long hours at the office and usually after I release my stress doing mindless, pointless activities like yelling at the […]
Today, it’s all about analogies. I do SO love me some analogies… especially really bad ones. And stolen ones. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides […]
A friend of mine recently wrote a hilarious post about how coming up with a character is not unlike birthing a child. Not having ever given birth to a demi-human, myself, I was forced to come up with the following alternative description: Writing a book is like playing fantasy football; only instead of having to choose […]
One of my latest goals is to write something every day. This will probably always not translate to this blog (sadly, for some, perhaps) but I’ll do my best not to slack off. This week, I’ve decided to take a noun every day and describe it as though it’s for the first time. So here […]
***Full disclosure: I first posted this on facebook, but I’m re-posting it because it’s important. Also, I’ve added a few things. Today, I came to a very important realization. When it comes to looking at the world in all its miraculously flawed beauty, there really are only three major attitudes one can adopt. First, there […]
It’s gotten to the point where sleep is like the worst thing I can do if I want to get this book written. Every night, it’s like this: the second I fall into bed, the thoughts start coming freely. They are rife with literary brilliance, completely unique from my normal (boring) everyday thoughts, magical…and seemingly […]
Dear Human Resources Department, I would like to lodge a formal complaint about my boss. It’s very awkward, and I really hate to complain, but…. You see, I think she’s stalking me. Here’s why I think this is a serious problem: I first noticed her interest while I was away from my desk. I’d been […]
Dear Friend, I am Nigerian royultee, and I wud like to share with yoo a story that recently happnd to my best friend’s sister’s cousin: One day, while walking along the side of the road, my best friend’s sister’s cousin saw a strange van following her. Because she was in the parking lot at an undetermined Wal-Mart […]
Welcome to my new E-mail forwards series. Why, you might ask? Basically, I work in an office. So I get a lot of forwarded e-mails. Some are funny, some are okay…most not so much. In fact, a lot of them are variations on the EXACT same theme, whether it be an uninformed (like, waaaaay uninformed) rant […]
So I’ve been alive for about twenty-five years, (give or take) and in that time I’ve accumulated a few tiny pieces of knowledge that I would like to share with you, if you don’t mind… I’ve learned that whenever people’s voices get higher, it’s usually because they’re saying the exact opposite of what they’re thinking. […]
Friends, readers, countrymen… I’m posting this because I want to know what you think. Not from an editing standpoint, or from a literary standpoint, or from any other standpoint really, but from wherever it is you stand. I suppose what I’m really asking is HOW does this make you feel? Are you anxious? Excited? Sad? Disinterested? […]
I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop myself. And as always, I had to take the learning just ONE step farther. Further. Whatever. What is good writing? Is it the kind of thing that makes you think? Does it change the way you view the world and make you want to undo all the wrongs you’ve ever […]
VP Anderson 
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