Oh, man I love Halloween.

I was just thinking the other day about how wistful I feel about not being able to attend my friends parties. Especially with all the costume ideas I had this year.

As I am absent the festivities, feel free to steal these. But make sure you post pictures and do me proud, my pretties.

Couples costume idea: Toddlers & Tiaras >>>
Basically, the girl dresses up like a baby prostitute (w/curly wig, bright blue eyeshadow, and tons of petticoats) and the guy dresses up like one of the pageant moms. (Big hair, padded t-shirt, sweat pants and house slippers. T-shirt should say something like “My Baby is a STAR, bitches.”)

The “Ironic Costume” Costume >>>
This is for those who feel like making a statement. Male or female, (doesn’t really matter) you dress up like a “Sexy Baby.” (Frilly bonnet, lacy diaper, pacifier, the works.) When people ask you about it, get really indignant and shout, “Oh, so NOW you think this is too far??? The sexy little red riding hoods and miss muppets were ok, but THIS is too far???”

Solo costume idea: dress like a sad, older version of yourself and sit in a restaurant all night asking people if they’ll be your friend.
J/K! Just do it in your normal clothes.