And so begins the Post-Apocalyptic Zombie Takeover…

You knew this day would come, didn’t you? You’ve been planning for it, secretly, back there in the darkest recesses and out of the way storage cubbyholes of your mind. Don’t be ashamed, we’ve all thought about it.

The question is, what will we do now that the glorious day of reckoning is upon us? After the big explosion, and the inevitable panic fest…after the fallout of former dreams has stopped drifting through the air like caustic snowflakes and a profound hush has fallen over the planet…what will be our new dream, our new quest?

Well, brains, of course. Because we’re zombies now, my friends. Nothing left to worry about or plan for, no lurking appointments or luncheons, no need for the office wardrobe that we spent hundreds of dollars on but is now a useless pile of melted nylon and ashy cotton flecks.

Now, our quest is brains and brains alone. We will seek after them with a lust unparalleled by even our former desire for shoes and Diet Cola. We will seek them as if our sanity depends on it, which it does. And we will not stop, not until our tyranny and overlordship is absolute. Or until something shiny distracts us.

Have hope, my friends. Despair no more. For our life’s goals have just become a simpler, more obtainable thing:

BRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNS.