Pumpkin Spice Anxiety

Each day is a fresh new opportunity to show the world what you’re made of. Some days, you’re made of honor. Courage. Art. Other days, you’re comprised of potatoes. Baked. Fried. Or liquefied, into vodka. (Or perhaps, all of the above.) Really, you have to look at your life as a semi-intentional mix of many […]

On Women

“I know how to take care of myself,” she said. They assumed she meant that she could harm someone who was trying to harm her, and that was true. But it also meant that she knew how to buy herself flowers when she was feeling like the world was devoid of beauty. She also knew […]

Pop Quiz: Are You Oppressed?

op·pres·sion /əˈpreSHən/ noun noun: oppression; plural noun: oppressions prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or control. “a region shattered by oppression and killing” synonyms: persecution, abuse, maltreatment, ill-treatment, tyranny, despotism, repression, suppression, subjection, subjugation; More antonyms: freedom, democracy the state of being subject to unjust treatment or control. synonyms: persecution, abuse, maltreatment, ill-treatment, tyranny, despotism, repression, […]

Am I Entitled? (Hint: The Answer is Yes.)

Entitlement is a funny thing. Hard to recognize, especially in ourselves. Difficult to escape. It’s not just a mindset we develop during our best times. Not only a set of behaviors adopted out of carelessness. For some, it’s like a religion, or an inheritance. A way of life passed down from father to son. Some […]

Advocating for the Devil, 101

***Disclaimer: If you’re super religious and/or don’t like having your beliefs questioned, you may want to steer clear of this one.*** When I was a junior in college, I took a class in professional arguing. (Well, okay, technically it was Advanced Negotiation, but arguing is more fun to say.) One of the most useful things […]

“Make a Nursery Rhyme Emo” Monday

The Horizontal Ceiling by Veronica Park I’ve hit the wall, the dead end The junction of nowhere and everything It’s too late to change or replace And I don’t feel safe enough to stay But I can’t leave Because I have nowhere to go I feel the fear, the clutching need To leave this place […]

Martini Marcus: Cougar Whisperer

*Marcus wasn’t much to look at, especially where cruise ship bartenders are concerned. In fact, the first time I met him I think my inner monologue was something along the lines of “Gaaah! I didn’t see you there. How did you sneak so close to me, Stalky McRaperton!?” But in spite of being a rather […]

A Job’s Eulogy

Here lies P.R. Job. We never saw it coming; it was quite sudden. One day, it was fresh and new, full of promise. The next, it was dead. Like a newborn kitten with distemper, all rowdy and playful until suddenly it chokes and dies in your lap a week before Christmas. (But that’s another story, […]

Frankenstein with a Thesaurus

It’s amazing how many people don’t appreciate wit. And not just nonplussed by a well-timed observation or a snappy rejoinder or a clever comment. Like, zero tolerance for a smart mouth. None-zo. When it comes to movies, people expect zingy one-liners. They roll their eyes over cliched professions of sincerity, and voice their desire for […]

Bliss

I’ve been deathly I’ll for almost three days now. Once, my family took a cruise for Christmas vacation. I was sick then, too. This is the first time I’ve gone downhill, health-wise, since signing on. Which leads me to believe that it’s the holidays, not the stress or the weather or the germs, that make […]