Hello, my interweb friends. This week, I’ve been working on a new idea for a YA book that’s loosely based on my own (rather traumatic) High School experiences. Here is an excerpt of a true story from my pre-pubescent journal. You tell me if you think it would make a good story or not. The […]
I’m not going to make it. It’s been hours, possibly days, and the pain is only getting more insistent. Harder to ignore. Even I have to admit that I held out admirably for the first session. I barely flinched. In my mind, I was constantly reminding myself of how strong I was. How the pain […]
I hate auto mechanics. This isn’t an untrained bias, mind you, but a deep and cultured loathing that has stemmed from years of experience with these crafty emissaries of Satan. Sure, they seem rather innocuous at first glance. Heck, most of them don’t even look like they know how to tie their own shoes. But the […]
Okay, so your plane wrecks on a freaky island with bizarre animal life and a wierd time traveling wheel thingie in the middle. Those things have nothing to do with this story though, so you ignore them. You don’t have any tools or food, so you’re probably gonna die pretty soon. You’re completely alone, and […]
*Marcus wasn’t much to look at, especially where cruise ship bartenders are concerned. In fact, the first time I met him I think my inner monologue was something along the lines of “Gaaah! I didn’t see you there. How did you sneak so close to me, Stalky McRaperton!?” But in spite of being a rather […]
Here follows an example of what my query letter would say in a perfect world. (i.e. A world where social awkwardness and brutal honesty is the equivalent of charm and …big boobs.) Hello there, you lucky bastard you. I’m writing to announce that I’ve written a 100,000 word labor of excruciating fictional genius called _________. […]
I’ve done it. I’ve finally done it. From now and for the next two years, I am no longer employed to be anything else but a full-time writer. Novelist. Starving artist, if you will. Imaginaire extraordinaire. Bum. From now on, my only occupation is to make stuff up and record it in a semi-coherent, chronological […]
Here lies P.R. Job. We never saw it coming; it was quite sudden. One day, it was fresh and new, full of promise. The next, it was dead. Like a newborn kitten with distemper, all rowdy and playful until suddenly it chokes and dies in your lap a week before Christmas. (But that’s another story, […]
1. When in doubt, cut it off. 2. Once a bastard, always a bastard. (Even if you’re a sexy bastard.) 3. Don’t trust people who swear their eternal allegiance out loud. 4. Incest is so hot right now. 5. Sometimes, it’s best to leave the Bull behind and look out for #1. 6. Even mountains […]
It’s amazing how many people don’t appreciate wit. And not just nonplussed by a well-timed observation or a snappy rejoinder or a clever comment. Like, zero tolerance for a smart mouth. None-zo. When it comes to movies, people expect zingy one-liners. They roll their eyes over cliched professions of sincerity, and voice their desire for […]
Because I care…a random excerpt from one of my many random writing projects. (Don’t worry, this scene has now been cut from the current draft do it won’t spoil anything for those of you who will eventually read it. Spoiler alert: in this story, the protagonist is blind.) “Hey, Silas?” Michael’s voice drifted toward him […]
***Careful children, this might get a bit political. As a newly adopted denizen of the high seas, I find myself having the unique opportunity of viewing the current political mayhem with the fresh–if temporary–eyes of an outsider. From afar, I’m amused (and often disappointed) to watch these supposedly distinguished and experienced candidates as they battle […]
I’m saving all my brilliance for later. (It heightens the suspense.)
I’ve been deathly I’ll for almost three days now. Once, my family took a cruise for Christmas vacation. I was sick then, too. This is the first time I’ve gone downhill, health-wise, since signing on. Which leads me to believe that it’s the holidays, not the stress or the weather or the germs, that make […]
Why do I spend so much time stressing out? She wondered to herself, as she fast-walked down a long, narrow hallway on her way–but already ten minutes late–to an event where she would ad-lib a one-hour lecture in front of two-hundred complete strangers. God only knows. It might be the diet, she told herself. Yeah, […]
Last night, on Christmas morning, just after midnight, a crew member leapt to her death. After nine hours of searching with spotlights and hundreds of eyes in the blackness, the search was called off, and the ship continued on its way. Toward the next port, toward sunny beaches and rum punch and fabulous duty-free shopping. […]
You know those stories I was talking about? I neglected to mention the amazingly EPIC events that seem to happen in between those hard times. Highs, lows… Triumphs, failures… Experiences that make you feel truly alive. When it comes down to it, I’d rather be guilty of straining my patience too much, of spreading myself […]
If you go back to 2006, you’ll see a number of posts on what it’s like to be in a foreign place and not hear from your friends. Now, I’d like to flip that and describe how not awesome it is to be in a foreign place and not be able to contact any of […]
There comes a time in every great adventure when the hero stops being caught up in the thrill of the chase. The newness has worn thin, the path has grown troublesome, and shit happens. In Lord of the Rings, it’s that part where Frodo starts sleeping a lot and Sam keeps talking about potatoes. In […]
BB’s Crabshack = best crab ever!!! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and there are only 10 Americans on the ship. So long, real family. You’ve been replaced.
It’ll be thanksgiving soon and I can’t tell the difference between days of the week. I’m covered in mosquito bites and my farmer’s tan has never been darker. Are you jealous yet?
When first you step into a coffee shop in SoCarb (which, by the way, is my hyper-cool new nickname for the Southern Caribbean) you might find yourself doing one of those “Hey this looks nice and they have those little bread–HOLY S#%* $20 for a coffee!!?” faces. Then it hits you. Oh!!! That’s right, we’re […]
A little advice, from me to you. Even if you’re desperate, Even if you’re starving to death and think you can’t go on, Even if it’s not too expensive, Even if it’s 2:30 in the afternoon and you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere and you realize you haven’t eaten anything all day, Never, ever. […]
Let me tell you something about transportationists. Compared to American cab drivers, island taxi drivers–for the most part–are cheaper friendlier, more polite, and usually smell much better than one usually finds in the larger US cities. That said, EVERYONE in the world (and I do mean everyone) no matter their race, language, economic status or […]
Oh, man I love Halloween. I was just thinking the other day about how wistful I feel about not being able to attend my friends parties. Especially with all the costume ideas I had this year. As I am absent the festivities, feel free to steal these. But make sure you post pictures and do […]
VP Anderson 
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