Everyone has baggage when it comes to relationships. Some of it is emotional (like because of a bad breakup, they can’t seem to trust people not to hurt them eventually, or they never show someone their weaknesses until years into a relationship). Others, maybe children of a divorce, might have trouble believing in lasting and committed relationships. Whatever emotional problems are brought into each new relationship, we usually encounter them at some point, and they’re a surprise.
But what about physical baggage? This is a type of relationship baggage that is rarely discussed, or at least mutually glossed over, and which I feel bears looking at because it might very well have a greater impact on your current relationship than you may realize.
Let me explain what I mean by “physical baggage” (lest we come across some completely wrong assumptions in the course of this post). These are usually toted around in the form of a person, or a social connection with a person that cannot be easily lost. (Unlike airport baggage, which I firmly believe should be tagged with RFW homing devices to track migratory patterns, so that we can prove that luggage limbo truly exists.) Again, I digress.
Physical Relationship Baggage (PRB) can come in the form of a sibling who is faaaar too involved in their bro or sis’s emotional decision making processes. It can be lugged along as an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend who is now “just a friend” but you know that it’s only a matter of time before she/he tries to reclaim former territory. PRB that you especially have to watch out for is the blood kind. This kind, you can never truly get rid of. A mother-in-law who is Evil Incarnate, perhaps. Or maybe an illegitimate child from a past relationship. A really creepy or drunken uncle.
As I said before, everyone has baggage. Even if you don’t personally have any to carry, odds are that someday you’ll come across someone totally wonderful who has some of their own. And you’re going to have to ask yourself, How will I deal with ________? Or, Can I deal with ________?
One thing I can definitely tell you is that ignoring ANY type of baggage at the onset of a serious relationship can be fatal. (To the relationship, hopefully not to you.) The best advise is to talk about it the moment it becomes a forseeable issue. Together, you can decide whether to keep lugging it around alone, or if you can handle it together. Or, if it’s too much baggage, you can choose to lighten your emotional load and fly the friendly skies with someone else. Just whatever you do, don’t check it at the door of a new relationship. Because PRB, unlike regular baggage, ALWAYS comes back to its owner at some point.