I’m not Jack Handy. I have no interest in being Jack Handy. First of all, his name sounds really dirty to me for some reason; and secondly, if I had to be someone named Jack, I would be Jack Shepard.
Thanks to the constant melee that is 2020, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about throwing stuff. Literally and metaphorically. But mostly, metaphorically. When you’re full of angst at all times, existing in a constant state of flight or fight (but mostly fight, if you’re me,) and vacillating between incandescent rage and disassociation, it can […]
Every August 1st, I think of my childhood friend, Hayley. She used to have this saying: “Nothing good ever happens in August.” Each summer during high school, whenever we’d invite her out to do stuff, she’d reply, “I can’t, it’s August.” Regardless of the planned activity–and to be honest, it usually wasn’t all that thrilling, […]
What if all it takes is one person giving you explicit permission to love yourself unconditionally?
Fear of success Is similar to fear of failure Except, way less self-serving Maybe think about that
Twice in the last week, I’ve been called a show-off. This is nothing new for me, but it really ticks me off. Especially now, with all that’s happening. Let me tell you why. Even before I started school, I loved to read. Books were my only friends, for a long time. I was a weird […]
“I know how to take care of myself,” she said. They assumed she meant that she could harm someone who was trying to harm her, and that was true. But it also meant that she knew how to buy herself flowers when she was feeling like the world was devoid of beauty. She also knew […]
Author’s Note: I wrote this for myself, but you can adopt it, if you want. This past year has been sobering for a lot of people. A lot of us, particularly in the United States, have been forced to take a good look at the way we participate in society. Many of us, particularly in […]
Dear Friend, It’s been a long time since we’ve officially talked. Or…unofficially talked. Too long. It’s strange, even a little creepy, but I still know the basics of the path your life has taken since last we spoke. Officially, I mean. I know you had another kid, but I don’t know what you named it. […]
***Disclaimer: If you’re super religious and/or don’t like having your beliefs questioned, you may want to steer clear of this one.*** When I was a junior in college, I took a class in professional arguing. (Well, okay, technically it was Advanced Negotiation, but arguing is more fun to say.) One of the most useful things […]
The Horizontal Ceiling by Veronica Park I’ve hit the wall, the dead end The junction of nowhere and everything It’s too late to change or replace And I don’t feel safe enough to stay But I can’t leave Because I have nowhere to go I feel the fear, the clutching need To leave this place […]
Following a post from my favorite literary fledgling last week, I found myself inspired to write about a rarely lauded struggle which I believe all literary folk in general–including the “successful” ones–ultimately face: I call it The Eternal Shame of Relatively Obscure ROI. (ROR) < Pronounce this like a dinosaur, for optimal fun. (ESoROR works […]
I violently agree with this statement. However, I will add a caveat, because clarity is–above all–my jam. *”There is no such thing as a stupid question, provided you’re asking a question with a genuine desire to learn.” It’s not stupid to ask for clarification, ever, if you’re not 100% sure. It is stupid to ask […]
For once, this post is not about writing. It is not metaphorical, philosophical, or prescriptive. No, this post is just a story. A story about true love. The kind that lasts forever. It starts with a glance, ignites with a cautious touch. A furtive experimentation, followed by a gasp of excitement. “It fits!” Then, “Oh […]
New ideas are the sexy sirens of the writing world. At first blush, they’re so fresh and new and uncomplicated. They catch your glance while you’re hard at work, drawing your focus away from what you should be working on. And hey, who wouldn’t want to fantasize about going with the flow, just dropping it […]
One of the questions I get asked most often, by those who read my blog, is: “Veronica, why in the H do you hate Hemingway so much?” The answer to this question is as complex as my love of awkwardness. I hate him because I respect him. Also, because I feel like he probably never […]
We’ve all heard the stories. Legends, more like. About how J.K. Rowling wrote the entire first draft of Harry Potter on a napkin at her local Starbucks (or whatever place that sells what passes for coffee in the UK.) Or how E.L. James was just writing Twilight fan fiction one day…until bow-chick-a-bow-ow…international lust storm, followed […]
Dear Literary/Agency Interns, I feel it is my divine duty, as the self-appointed patron saint of interns (I’ve done twelve internships and counting, holla!) to pass on some of the things I’ve learned in my recent transition to the agent world: Don’t believe the hype. Whenever I attend a conference, I always have this moment where I feel […]
As the famously grouchy Ernest Hemingway once said, it’s very rare to find an intelligent, happy person. Of course, I’m paraphrasing. (Mostly because I suspect this will seriously piss off old Ernie, wherever he is. …Hell, probably.) My whole life, I’ve been fascinated by this happiness/knowledge connection. Is it better to see/feel/know too much, and […]
As I ranted about in a recent post, the world is full of complainers. Satirists. Commentators. Dissecters of trends. Dissenters. Critics. But sadly, fewer and fewer supporters. Champions. Crusaders. People who actually “put their money where their mouth is.” When it comes to politics, people complain about corrupt politicians, unfair laws, the state of the […]
Dear America, I don’t know your political affiliation, race, religion or gender, and frankly I don’t care. If you’re a human being and you live in this country, I’ll assume that you want (at least to some degree) the three things Americans are famous for wanting: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Living in […]
I always love when people quote some variation of the above statistic, because it never ceases to amuse me that anyone could EVER be more terrified of public speaking than they are of zombies, clowns, or the dark. But it’s a truth universally recognized—at least in America—that people are more afraid of giving a presentation in public than […]
In this business, the siren call of relatively vibrant plant life is a genuine and daily hazard. Ridiculous, you say. What does she mean, you ask? In laymen’s terms, we say “The Grass is always greener…on the other side of the fence.” Sounds simple, even silly. But in my opinion, it’s truly one of the […]
I know I’ve talked about this before, but this past year it’s kind of become a major theme in my life, so I’m going to write about it again. Here it is, children. What I’ve learned in 2015: You have to do what you have to do, when you have to do it–and not when […]
For people like me, waiting around for stuff is the worst kind of poison. Like dying slowly from an abdominal stab wound, only with slightly less pain. You lie awake and think, what more can I possibly do? When it finally happens, will it hurt? Where will I end up, when all this is over? And […]
Everyone thinks they have a story in them. Sometimes lots of stories. But writing a book isn’t something everyone does. Lots of books, even less so. To make a career out of writing, you can’t just operate on a whim. You need to tether your creativity, kill your darlings, and listen to the wisdom of […]
VP Anderson 
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