The Truth About August

Every August 1st, I think of my childhood friend, Hayley. She used to have this saying: “Nothing good ever happens in August.” Each summer during high school, whenever we’d invite her out to do stuff, she’d reply, “I can’t, it’s August.” Regardless of the planned activity–and to be honest, it usually wasn’t all that thrilling, […]

On Being a “Show-Off”

Twice in the last week, I’ve been called a show-off. This is nothing new for me, but it really ticks me off. Especially now, with all that’s happening. Let me tell you why. Even before I started school, I loved to read. Books were my only friends, for a long time. I was a weird […]

The Doomsday Generation

We’ve all heard the joke: Today’s young people are better prepared for a zombie apocalypse than they are for “real life.” Well, thank god for that. As we have seen, are seeing, will see, the world is an increasingly baffling and hellacious place. Human sacrifice? Check. Dogs and cats living together? Check. Mass hysteria? …Oh, […]

Hail Apathy, Fail Democracy

Dear America, I don’t know your political affiliation, race, religion or gender, and frankly I don’t care. If you’re a human being and you live in this country, I’ll assume that you want (at least to some degree) the three things Americans are famous for wanting: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Living in […]

V Reviews, in Under 20: WARM BODIES

Hey guys! Welcome to my new (sometimes) Sunday Blog Series, V Reviews Books and/or Movies in 20 Words or Less. (The title is a little unwieldy. I’ll work on that.) Enjoy!    WARM BODIES review, by V: Expected nothing from the book. Expected little from the movie. Was pleasantly surprised by both. Brains.

Cat Got Your Tongue?

I hate the term “writer’s block.” Not because it isn’t apt, but because I feel like it singles out writers and seems to suggest that we–unlike others who toil in a creative vocation–are the sole owners of this metaphorical brain boulder. Like Sisyphus (apparently), we writers are forever doomed to push this gigantic block before […]

A *Very Special* Election Day Rant

***Disclaimer: I don’t usually like to get political. But in light of recent electoral shenanigans, I couldn’t help but vent my frustration. And because I’m me, I decided to share my displeasure by drafting an inaugural speech for the next POTUS. 2012 PRESIDENTIAL ACCEPTANCE SPEECH for [Insert Name Here] [Walk to microphone, place hands on […]

You Give Friendship a Bad Name

I just got the following alert from Facebook: “Your friend request privileges have been temporarily blocked. From now on, please don’t send friend requests to people you don’t know personally. Facebook is a place for connecting with friends, family, classmates, coworkers and other people you know well. If you are blocked from sending friend requests, […]

A Song for Monday

It’s only nine in the morning, There’s no cause to despair. It’s only nine on Monday, Just five more days to bear. I’ll probably skip through the day Like a fish through the paws of a bear. At least it’s not ten in the morning; It can only get worse from there.

A Frank Discussion on “Steamy” Literature

Author’s Forward: Mom, don’t read this. Also, if you’re a fan of Stephanie Meyer, 50 Shades of Grey, or any other 50 Shades of Bullsh** spinoff thereof, don’t read this. (And while you’re at it, please leave the site immediately and never come back. J/k all readophiles are welcome. Just don’t say I didn’t warn […]

To the Pain.

I’m not going to make it. It’s been hours, possibly days, and the pain is only getting more insistent. Harder to ignore. Even I have to admit that I held out admirably for the first session. I barely flinched. In my mind, I was constantly reminding myself of how strong I was. How the pain […]

Earl’s Gotta Die

I hate auto mechanics. This isn’t an untrained bias, mind you, but a deep and cultured loathing that has stemmed from years of experience with these crafty emissaries of Satan. Sure, they seem rather innocuous at first glance. Heck, most of them don’t even look like they know how to tie their own shoes. But the […]

The Sword of Damocles Strikes Again***

***Careful children, this might get a bit political. As a newly adopted denizen of the high seas, I find myself having the unique opportunity of viewing the current political mayhem with the fresh–if temporary–eyes of an outsider. From afar, I’m amused (and often disappointed) to watch these supposedly distinguished and experienced candidates as they battle […]

No News is Good News

While watching the news for the first time in a few weeks (don’t judge me, I’ve been busy), I found myself reflecting on my past as a journalist. My decision not to continue on that career path was the result of several factors: the current job market, declining emphasis on ethics and civic responsibility… but […]

Murderous Musings of 10:00am

As usual, while watching Toddlers and Tiaras last night I was plagued with thoughts of violence. Somewhere during the twelve-or-so-minute period of inaction caused by the feeling of horror/intrigue shows like that seem to bank on for their viewership, there was a commercial for the new season of Dexter. Of course, my mind being the […]

Just Call Me Cordelia Wallace

Cordelia: Sons and daughters of the internet, I am Cordelia! Peanut Gallery: Cordelia is a made up character in a book! Cordelia: Yes, that much is true. In real life, Cordelia is a sassy office manager who kills Diet Cokes by the hundreds, and has been known to quell a man twice her size with […]

Awful August

In high school, I had a friend who would refuse to leave the house for an entire month each year. If you called her to hang out or invite her to a party, she would simply scoff and respond “It’s August.” Then she would hang up the phone. If pressed, she was known to tersely […]

Fun with Iambic Pentameter

There once was a struggling writer, Who thought she could be wound no tighter. But when her boss said “do this” She was too dumb to resist. Now she’ll be pulling an all-nighter. (The End.)