Shake It Off

There seem to be many times in our lives when we are forced to rely on someone who ultimately disappoints us. Throughout the past year, I was given a lot of opportunities to test how I deal in this type of situation. I found that sometimes it is best to pretend as if you never relied on anything from them in the first place, and instead of anger or irritation, to meet the person or situation with indifference.

There are of course some negative results to this approach. For one thing, it gives one a tendency to write people off, for once a person has let you down more than a few times, or in some cases once and for all, it can become easier just to stop trusting them before they do so. Today was one of those days that I had to make this choice. When someone says they’re going to do something, perhaps more than once, and you believe them– but then they don’t follow through– what happens? Do you mention their failure to come through so that they can feel guilt? Do you go out of your way to show your disappointment? Do you get really pissed off? Or do you decide not to say anything, let it go, and hope that next time they’ll follow through? That last choice seems like the most healthy. But when human feelings are involved, choices are rarely easy or consequence free. And even when you choose to let it go, there’s still that little part of you inside (the part that trusts a word) that maybe begins to die a little. Without knowing, you will soon find it harder to believe that “I will” means it’s going to happen.

So which choice benefits you the most? Learning not to trust so that no one will ever let you down? Always hoping that next time will be for real? Or perhaps it’s possible to trust in others but rely only on yourself. Sometimes it seems like limiting the variables is the only way to guarantee complete satisfaction in the strategy game of life.