Blarrggghh!!!
It’s Sunday, and the phlegm is finally leaving. Did I spell that correctly??? Is that even a proper noun, phlegm? Anyway, I feel a bit better. The sinus headache is still there, however, but the coughs are lessening. Which points to the possibility that I may yet survive this blight. Huzzah!!!
Stand by for future signs of life.
VP Anderson 
I had never thought of you as a snot monster, but now that I do, I can kind of imagine it. In church we learned that whatever you are, you should be the best you can be. I suggest that you do your very best to maximize your snottiness so that everyone you meet can recognize you as the best snot monster this world has ever seen.