Forever Alone Mad Libs

Example: I haven’t showered in _eons__, but that’s okay, because somewhere out there, there’s bound to be a hot, single _notary public_ who loves the smell of _stewed cabbage_.


I’m a proud, confident _________ who don’t need no __________. Except to _______ my _________. I might need a _________ for that.


When I die, it will probably be from choking on a ________. I will likely be found in my __________, wearing ___________ and being slowly devoured by ____________.


When I was younger, I’d roll up in the club like “____________,” and all the _______’s would be like, “___________.” Now, I roll up in the club like “_________________,” and all the ___________’s be like, “________________.”


If I have to go to one more wedding without a plus one, I will ________ a ________ and __________ everybody.


Who’s got two thumbs and _____________? More importantly, who’s got a _________ of ________ and ___________ self-control?


When I’m feeling sad, I like to watch ___________, because it makes me feel like I will never be as ___________ as _______________. And that’s something.