This week’s TC post is about Firsts.
I honestly never thought I’d spill this particular embarrassment, but in honor of the launch of the Like a Virgin Contest (#LV13) on Friday (for which I am a judge, huzzah!) I’ve decided to go “all the way”…and blog about the first time I ever had my heart broken.
So. Here goes. (Ahem.)
I was nineteen years old. Untested and naïve. I’d never had a “serious” boyfriend before, and in my youth and gullibility, I genuinely believed I’d found The One. He said he already knew I was the girl he was going to spend the rest of his life with. So that was cool. For the purposes of this exercise, we’ll call him “Jeb.”
(Cut to four months later.)
One day, Jeb starts acting a little weird, distant. I don’t hear from him for a couple of days, which feels strange after spending nearly every waking moment together during the summer. I spend a weekend giving him space, because my advisory board of [similarly clueless] friends all agree that space is the best thing for a 21-year-old guy who might be having second thoughts. I go out with the girls, leave my phone at home–all the while patting myself on the back about how mature I am. What a level-headed, understanding girlfriend I am for not freaking out.
On Monday, I finally bother to check my e-mail.
I won’t post the whole thing here, but here’s an excerpt from that e-mail (which had been sent on the Friday previous) for your cringing pleasure:
“I really don’t know how else to say or do this, but as much as I love you, I don’t feel right about it. I have felt that way for a while but I have kept trying change the way I felt. I wanted things to work out, because I really do care about you. You’ve become a part of me over the months. This is going to be hard, but it’s just a step in life that has to happen. I will always
be your friend and hopefully one day it will be easy for us to accept that when we see each other.”
And finally, my personal favorite part, which still puts me in stitches to this day:
“Continue to be yourself because you are amazing and many people realize that.”
The letter was signed simply, “Goodbye.”
And that, young girls who read this blog, is why you should NEVER, EVER date a guy who is prone to run-on sentences. The more you know….
Love you all! You’re precious, and I’m sure that ‘many people’ will realize that–including and especially the REAL guy you’re supposed to end up with.
(Oh, and by the way, I’m not even remotely sorry that this particular “one” got away. In case you were wondering.)
PSA: Virgins!!! Ready for another first? Don’t forget to enter the Like a Virgin contest on Friday morning (only the first 50 entrants will have a shot) and follow me on Twitter @Veronikaboom for updates!
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Cringe-worthy indeed, I was squinting and reading out of one eye by the end. My first breakup concluded with him saying “I needed to lean on you and you weren’t there for me…” He was fifteen, I was thirteen. Cue laughter.
That’s some Days of Our Lives BS right there.
That seriously sounds like a query rejection. “As much as I love your writing, it just isn’t for me.But keep at it because I know you’ll find the right agent.” *barf*. Have fun judging the virgins! ;P
OMG you’re totally right! But still, I always preferred those “keep on chugging, little engine” e-mails to the ones that were just outright “no.”
Hahaha!
“And that, young girls who read this blog, is why you should NEVER, EVER date a guy who is prone to run-on sentences.”
Priceless!
Haha, I had a long distance relationship for a year with my now husband and I was first drawn to his impeccable grammar! Some truth in you run-on sentence warning, I think…
Wow. Just… Wow. Oh man this made me laugh! Thanks guy-who-breaks-up-via-really-douchey-emails!
Oh my gosh! Many people realise that?? What an idiot! First heartbreak sucks. At least you have yours for an interesting blog post.
Wow. The favorite break-up letter I ever received actually cited my love of the color purple as a reason why we weren’t meant to be 😉 Can’t wait to unleash you on all our Virgin entries!
You mean the Oprah movie?