Today’s TC post is written in the cherished style of “rant,” and inspired by the obnoxious–and yes, occasionally hilarious–spam I find in my comments inbox. (By the way, thank you, Askimet, for keeping these off my homepage. I really don’t say that enough.)
Here are a few of my favorites: (along with my response)
“Some viewers are keen to watch funny movies, except I like to watch terrible video clips on YouTube.”
You and me both, random technology website bot. Sadly, this has ZERO to do with the post you commented on. [Deleted!]
“oh, we love the Strand and Mr. Jackson! what fun. did they bring any kittehs wif them? that seems kind of silly, if they didn’t. but next time, maybe they can have you and Miss K as special guests. that would be VERRA well attended, I’m sure!”
Um…whaaaaat? Who are you? What’s happening? Content issue. [Deleted!]
“I like this web blog very much. It is a rattling nice office to read and find info about subjects.”
“I Like it! I am such a sucker for a high ceiling, but will definitely use this next week to plan for consistency through the byes.”
The best part? It’s signed XOXO, Zeus.
“You did the a great work writing and revealing the hidden beneficial features of”
Ah, CLIFF-HANGER! What? What!!!? I must know what I revealed the hidden beneficial features of! Either it’s a state secret, or someone forgot to copy and paste.
Though most annoyed blog owners may not realize it, these crazy posts are a GREAT lesson in grammar and usage as aspects of user credibility. A misused/misspelled word (or twelve) can make ALL the difference between clicking “This is obviously spam, delete permanently” and “Wait, this might actually be a comment from my crazy aunt Mildred who’s admittedly still a little shaky on the concept of technology!” (Or whatever.)
(Now, you’ve probably already taken the step here and figured this out, but,) guess what, writers? This same concept applies to you and YOUR readers! Especially for you indie/self-pub authors, who might feel vindicated in posting a novel that hasn’t been professionally proofread because, “if the writing/story is good enough, people won’t notice/care about the errors.” (Or something along those lines.) Spoiler Alert: if you’re telling yourself this line, writers, you’re wrong. A lot of people care about proper grammar.
And yet, it’s not even really ABOUT that. It’s about (say it with me, here): CREDIBILITY.
If you’re going to call yourself a plumber, you should know (and be able to effectively demonstrate your knowledge of) the way utility piping works. If you’re going to fix cars, you should be intimately familiar with the workings of an automobile’s engine. If you’re going to call yourself a PROFESSIONAL writer, (and ask people to PAY for your writing) you need to KNOW YOUR BUSINESS (grammatically speaking.) Otherwise, people won’t respect you as a professional, or want to pay for your service. All I’m saying here is, take a lesson from the spammers. Don’t let your message be dismissed out of hand because of a tiny, totally fixable error. (Or a bunch of totally fixable errors.)
Disclaimer: That said, nobody is perfect. (Then again, that’s what copy editors are for, right?)
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