The Intern Matrix

My adorable husband, Jake, is literally the best thing/person that’s ever happened to me. As a former card-carrying member of the Women Who Don’t Need Men official U.S. chapter, I say this with only a dash of embarrassment. I would literally die without him at this point.

Unfortunately, I’ve also recently begun to percolate on the fact that I will die (or at least live on in abject misery) if I am unable to graduate from University in the alloted time frame that I’ve given myself. (Basically… August.) In  the pursuit of this goal, one thing is currently looming huge and unmovable in my path: the Damned Internship.

I’ve been somewhat of a career-minded person since I was about ten. Because of this, I’ve actually already completed about a dozen internships and applicable jobs in my chosen field. But, of course, none of these were actually performed for credit. Because my school is Satan.

Now, I (the girl who’s –humbly–been offered literally every job she’s ever applied for) cannot seem to find a single Godforsaken Internship for the life of me–and this requirement is literally the stipulation upon which my life depends. I’ve gotten to the point where each day, I pray to find a local internship that will agree to let me work there without pay, even though that’s basically economic suidice at this point in my life.

The absolute MOST frustrating thing that I’ve found? There are LOTS of paid internships in my field available. In New York. And California. And Florida. And basically everywhere, ANYWHERE except f*cking UTAH.

Which brings me to my next point. The reason I can no longer afford/expect to be able to just pick up and live like a gypsy in some foreign town for a couple of months during the summer, in order to complete said internship? It also happens to be the one thing that makes my life worth living. It’s the ultimate Catch 22. And it blows. Big time.

Because, realistically? I know that even if I did kiss off, suck it up, and go live somewhere away for a couple of months? I’d definitely be way more miserable than I am now at the thought of being barred from graduation because I can’t find a local place that’s taking on interns. A fact which, though totally undeniable, sucks a cosmic amount of a**. 

So…. What to do? I guess there’s nothing else  to do but hope something miraculous happens. Soon.