I’m not Jack Handy. I have no interest in being Jack Handy. First of all, his name sounds really dirty to me for some reason; and secondly, if I had to be someone named Jack, I would be Jack Shepard.
In this, my friends, I’ll be brief. School is a bore, And feels like a chore Instead of before, When I loved to explore What was in store. There was knowledge galore And now, I implore Each day is a war, For class I ignore I don’t go anymore. My money I pour Don’t check […]
My life in acadamia can be compared to the sounds of a 1920’s gang massacre. At first, it starts out quiet. Civil. Pleasantries are exchanged, yet there is an almost audible tension in the air. Somehow, you know that chaos could erupt at any moment. Only the slightest provocation is necessary. It begins with an […]
You know, as a kid I always thought that every saying should always come from a literal and basic truth. Like, that bears repeating. Or, that doesn’t bear repeating. I pictured that fuzzy little grizzly doing the same things over and over. And that would get boring, I suppose. But what sense did it make? […]
When I someday sit down and write the story of my life, it will be merely the highlights–the parts that I remember, that have stood out in some way because of their importance. Moments like this, they seem so crucial when they happen, until a little time passes and then they pale in comparison with […]
There seem to be many times in our lives when we are forced to rely on someone who ultimately disappoints us. Throughout the past year, I was given a lot of opportunities to test how I deal in this type of situation. I found that sometimes it is best to pretend as if you never […]
So. This has been an interesting season. I’ve cried, laughed, danced, grieved, slept, ailed, healed, worked, learned, worked, loved, lost, and avoided taxes. I’ve thought, prayed, questioned, pondered, imagined, reasoned, puzzled, wondered, and asked. I’ve doubted, given up, sworn, denied, ignored, forgotten, and spurned. But not once did I die. And for that, I am […]
So, I’ve recently had many, many occasions to reflect on a favorite saying often drummed into me in my youth: “When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade.” However, for me, this adage presents one very formidable problem. I freaking HATE lemonade. It’s not that I disapprove of it as a refreshing beverage, and nothing personal […]
Tonight, Robbie, Chris and I decided that we shall revolutionize the world using only Zippers. How is this possible, you ask? Well… we’re actually not quite sure yet. But we’re working on it. And if anyone asks years later when we’re rich and famous, we will all deny any affiliation whatsoever with small villages in Brazil. Or […]
Tonight, I was so blitzingly tired that I could barely think straight. Straightly. Straightified. Okay wait I AM so tired I can barely think. At all. Anyway, so why am I writing this instead of sleeping? That is an excellent question. I think it’s because I just needed to rant. The sad part though is […]
Alright, who on earth in their right mind would stay up until three in the morning tinkering around on the internet and writing blogs? Well, apparently there are many such whoms. And I am now one of the unfortunate individuals to join their ranks. Curse you and your addictive website, Chris. Okay, so this morning […]
Okay, so I recently read a rather depressing, slightly disturbing, but altogether hilarious remark from a dear friend and colleague of mine who I would like to refer to in this mean as “Chris.” (Because that is his name-o) In a summary statement of his life at the moment, he inferred that his academic and […]
VP Anderson 