Oh Snap, This S**t Just Got Real.

I’ve done it. I’ve finally done it. From now and for the next two years, I am no longer employed to be anything else but a full-time writer. Novelist. Starving artist, if you will. Imaginaire extraordinaire. Bum. From now on, my only occupation is to make stuff up and record it in a semi-coherent, chronological […]

How pointless…How tragic…How sad

Last night, on Christmas morning, just after midnight, a crew member leapt to her death. After nine hours of searching with spotlights and hundreds of eyes in the blackness, the search was called off, and the ship continued on its way. Toward the next port, toward sunny beaches and rum punch and fabulous duty-free shopping. […]

Hope Springs Eternal

You know those stories I was talking about? I neglected to mention the amazingly EPIC events that seem to happen in between those hard times. Highs, lows… Triumphs, failures… Experiences that make you feel truly alive. When it comes down to it, I’d rather be guilty of straining my patience too much, of spreading myself […]

BE AWARE.

These days, I’ve taken to viewing life as a series of moments that vary in importance based on levels of awareness. What’s that? No clue what I’m talking about? Well, I don’t really blame you because that sentence was CHUNKY. But stay with me here for a second, if you can… You know how the […]

To: Halo, Love: The Dorks

Welcome to my new “Poetry Renovation” series. I got the idea for this a few days ago, when I was sitting at work, thinking deep thoughts. Deep, dank, stalagtitious thoughts… Anyway, here we go. Poetry Renovation – Version 18.2 Shall I compare thee to a woman’s face? Thou hast better graphics and art more enthralling. […]

The Upside of Eating Feet

Since a very young age, I’ve been infamous for putting my foot in my mouth. Whether as a result of an ill-timed observation, a hastily invented excuse, or an unintentional slight, I am no stranger to the immediate chagrin and panic that comes after saying something you wish you could take back, but can’t. However, […]

Poe Me, Part II

And now, for an homage of my own creation: When I try to imagine bliss, It doesn’t look a lot like this. But neither does it look like most With towering palm trees or shimmering coast. In fact, I think my bliss might be A quiet cave by a stormy sea. The muddy banks of […]

Ouch.

When you think about it, it’s amazing how much time we humans spend trying not to get hurt. Whether we’re avoiding heartbreak or a punch to the face, it’s all pretty much the same reflex. But think about how disproportionate that is, the amount of time and effort it takes to avoid something painful, vs. […]

Shortest Blog Post of All Time(ish)

Today, I came to a very important realization, and here it is: Worrying what people think of me isn’t going to make me a better person. They’re not me, they haven’t lived my life. Their perception of me will always be limited. As much as I’d like to spend some time crafting the perfect analogy […]

Boom! (Squish, Squish)

And so begins the Post-Apocalyptic Zombie Takeover… You knew this day would come, didn’t you? You’ve been planning for it, secretly, back there in the darkest recesses and out of the way storage cubbyholes of your mind. Don’t be ashamed, we’ve all thought about it. The question is, what will we do now that the glorious […]

The Problem with Balls…

I’ve always been the kind of person who likes to diversify their investments. Not just with finances, but in other aspects of life, as well. For example, when I was in high school, I never hung out with just one group of friends. For some reason–which I like to credit to an overdevelopment of emotional […]

The Roads-Pages-Wings Not Taken

Looking back, it seems like some of the best times in life are the ones when you were faced with a whole multitude of different possibilities. The first day of school, graduation, your wedding day, moving to a new city, taking a new job…. These were the points you made a change or a decision […]

The Snack Food of Dishonesty

It starts with a little white lie. Something went wrong, or maybe it just didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to. You messed up, you didn’t notice, you forgot. Then suddenly, what seems like years later but is probably only moments, the consequences are staring you in the face. You realize what you did, […]

Later than Not

Lately, I’ve been beginning a lot of my posts with the word “lately.” Not sure what that says about my mental health, but whatever. So anyway, I’ve been wrestling (lately) with the idea that maybe one idea is not enough. I’ve got one manuscript that’s nearly finished–let’s not get too nitpicky with the definition of […]

The Tantalizing Illusion of Unspoiled Ideas

Someone (I think it was Charles Dickens or maybe Earnest Hemingway) once said that new ideas are like bastard children. They take our time and attention away from what we should be focusing on–our current project, whatever that may be–and should be mercilessly killed if we ever hope to realize our true purpose. Now, I’m […]

On Figureheads

Lately, I’ve been formulating a theory. I realize it’s not often that the “real world” can boast sterling examples of moral character without alternately finding a way to tear that person down. One only has to  look at the way Christopher Hitchins went after Mother Teresa or how Winston Churchill talked trash against Gandhi to realize that even the best people […]

Takes One to Know One…

I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop myself. And as always, I had to take the learning just ONE step farther. Further. Whatever. What is good writing? Is it the kind of thing that makes you think? Does it change the way you view the world and make you want to undo all the wrongs you’ve ever […]

Ready…Aim…Smite!!!

Today, I’d like to talk a little bit about sacrifice. In most of the world’s greater cultures, sacrifice is a central principle of life. Christians believe that in order to become “saved,” one must follow the example of Christ’s sacrifice by choosing God’s will over their own desires. Buddhism holds that one must deny oneself the […]

My Head is on the Writer’s Block

To everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a–OOh, something shiny! That wierdness pretty much explains the times I’m having now. Writing is something I love doing, and it’s definitely one of the things that I would prioritize if I could. That said, nobody else seems to want to LET me prioritize it. But before I […]

The Secret to World Peace

People always say that life is full of choices. Why is it that when beauty pageant contestants are asked what their one wish would be, they always seem to say World Peace? Does this seem a little too consistent to anyone else, like maybe they’ve all visited the same lobotomy doctor? Why not an end […]

A Sitcom, without the Laugh Track

Have yo ever wondered where people go when they’re not with you? I mean, not in a creepy obsessed Sleeping With the Enemy sort of way, but more like Everybody loves Raymond or Seinfeld? Just picture this. Your life is a closed set, and the only time we see the other characters in your story […]