Thursday has always been my favorite day of the week. I’m not sure if it’s because I like the anticipation of it being “almost, but not quite” Friday, or if it’s because that’s when the best TV shows are usually on. But regardless of the reason, Thursday is my power day. My yellow sun, if […]
Today is a day for sinning. Today, I want to worship things that shouldn’t be worshipped, like bacon. I want to create graven images and sign them with my name in bright red for all the world to see. I want to take the Lord’s name in vain, along with a lot of other vile […]
Today I want to take a little break from bemoaning the happenings and portents of my epic little life and focus on something a little bit more universal: honest to goodness, real-life, hurts-to-the-bone, stalk-someone-into-witness-protection LOVE. I recently watched a movie where the two main characters spent almost the entire two hours railing on the ridiculous […]
True Blood is awesome. Game of Thrones is masterful. Sundays are good now.
When you think about it, it’s amazing how much time we humans spend trying not to get hurt. Whether we’re avoiding heartbreak or a punch to the face, it’s all pretty much the same reflex. But think about how disproportionate that is, the amount of time and effort it takes to avoid something painful, vs. […]
Today, I came to a very important realization, and here it is: Worrying what people think of me isn’t going to make me a better person. They’re not me, they haven’t lived my life. Their perception of me will always be limited. As much as I’d like to spend some time crafting the perfect analogy […]
And so begins the Post-Apocalyptic Zombie Takeover… You knew this day would come, didn’t you? You’ve been planning for it, secretly, back there in the darkest recesses and out of the way storage cubbyholes of your mind. Don’t be ashamed, we’ve all thought about it. The question is, what will we do now that the glorious […]
I know, I know I promised I’d stop laying on the heavy. But this week has been… pretty damn apocalyptic as far as life events go. Per my mother’s advice, I’ve spent the last 24 hours (or so) trying to feel nothing but GRATITUDE for the things I still have. But the thing is, I’m […]
I got some very bad news today, and I don’t know how to explain it except in the most melodramatic terms. This is because the pain is still fresh, I suppose. Hopefully I’ll be able to put things in perspective soon. She didn’t know how it happened. One moment she was standing there, as if […]
A while ago, I wrote this: I’ve been doing my best lately to be awesome, and the conclusion that I’m beginning to reach is that not only does being awesome take a lot of work, it also makes more pressure on oneself to be continually awesome, rather than allowing oneself to be awesome just now and […]
Violent thoughts. Rage, burning inside like hot coals dipped in acid. The bile rises, choking off any semblance of refreshment that breathing could offer. The blood boils, setting the skin on fire. People, everywhere. They stir uncomfortably like rats in a cage, going about their mindless fidgeting ignorantly, hopelessly. Escape is an incomprehensible fate. They […]
I’ve always been the kind of person who likes to diversify their investments. Not just with finances, but in other aspects of life, as well. For example, when I was in high school, I never hung out with just one group of friends. For some reason–which I like to credit to an overdevelopment of emotional […]
Confession # 367: Even back when I still considered myself a total prude, I always secretly thought I’d make a really good stripper. Because I can seriously rock some underwear.
Preface: Something hilarious happened at work today, and I can’t tell you about it because I’ve sworn a blood oath to my employers and the U.S. government that I would never utter any work-related anecdotes on any public or social media forum. On penalty of death, dismemberment and/or short stint in low-security women’s prison. And […]
Change is in the wind, my friends. Take heed and let hope spring eternal in all your tingly bits, for the time is soon coming for abject jubilation. I know that sounds really classical and awesome, and you’re probably wondering who wrote it. Shakespeare, maybe. Or Hemingway. Well I just made it up suckas, so that’ll teach […]
Looking back, it seems like some of the best times in life are the ones when you were faced with a whole multitude of different possibilities. The first day of school, graduation, your wedding day, moving to a new city, taking a new job…. These were the points you made a change or a decision […]
It starts with a little white lie. Something went wrong, or maybe it just didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to. You messed up, you didn’t notice, you forgot. Then suddenly, what seems like years later but is probably only moments, the consequences are staring you in the face. You realize what you did, […]
So, you know that saying that all mothers in the 1950’s used to apparently tell their daughters? (At least I assume this to be the case, since every mom I’ve met repeats it often and with great enthusiasm. But just in case you’re male and/or have been raised in some kind of sedentary wilderness, I’m referring to the “why buy the cow […]
Ever tried to motivate yourself to do something by using this type of logic? “If I don’t go to the gym/church/class now, then I never will.” Or, how about, “If I eat this cupcake, then I will HATE myself when I step on the scale tomorrow.” Ever used some variation of this one? “If I […]
I recently joined the “Twitterverse,” which is something I swore I’d never do, right up there with getting an iPod–because iPods were for hipster elitists who couldn’t walk without a soundtrack–and taking yoga classes seriously. Unfortunately, life is not something you can ever completely predict, and it seems almost fated that you’ll inevitably end up breaking all of your carefully constructed rules […]
Everyone knows the rule. You’re married. You’ve promised to love, honor and argue with only one person for the rest of your life. You’ll never even THINK of being with someone else, ever again. BUT… there is a bit of a rhetorical loophole in this binding arrangement. I mean, blessed arrangement. This loophole is based on the […]
If it had been me winning the Oscar, it’s what I probably would’ve said. Not because I happen to swear a lot, but because in my life I have always had this tragic ability to always say JUST the wrong thing when it matters most, when the greatest amount of people are listening, or even just when the WRONG […]
I can bend over almost completely backwards. Pretty sure I am descended from some kind of monkey.
Lately, I’ve been beginning a lot of my posts with the word “lately.” Not sure what that says about my mental health, but whatever. So anyway, I’ve been wrestling (lately) with the idea that maybe one idea is not enough. I’ve got one manuscript that’s nearly finished–let’s not get too nitpicky with the definition of […]
VP Anderson 
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