Diary of a Wannabe Novelist

Two am. The streets outside have finally fallen quiet. I’ve exhausted the latest offerings of my trusty DVR, and now it’s time to create. I eat an apple for energy, and drink a can of Diet Coke so my body doesn’t flop over sideways on the couch and give me curvature of the spine a […]

Confession #784: To the Pain

I hate dieting. Not only as an activity or as a weight loss tool, but as a concept. This is because, to me, dieting–even in its most abstract, non-sensical form–is usually implemented as a tool of last resort. Sort of like a slower, milder form of sensory deprivation like they do in between the waterboarding. […]

Shaming Confession of the Day

Confession #1,971: I read a book almost halfway through before realizing that I’d already read that book. When I was seventeen and completely stoned out on pain killers after my car accident. Didn’t remember a thing! Secretly, I wish I could do that with all the really good books I read. Then I could just […]

Auto Confession of the Day

Confession #756: During my junior year of high school, I totalled six cars. Two of them belonged to other people who “didn’t see me,” one perished in an alleged drag racing incident, one fell victim to a Volkswagen Touareg, one inexplicably went into full arrest in the middle of a bridge during a storm (Poe style), […]

Sordid Confession of the Day

Confession #1,202: I once changed the oil in my friend’s car wearing only a bikini at a 7-11 at four in the morning. There were people around, with cameras. I must have some Mississippi debutante in my blood somewhere. There’s no other excuse.

WTF Confession of the Day

Confession #121: Got a card in the mail today asking why I haven’t voted in five years. I’ve voted every year as an absentee for my home state, or so I thought. …Until my home state sent me a card asking why I haven’t voted in five years.

March Madness Confession Series

In the interest of keeping my goals (to blog more…often…oftenly) I hereby introduce the continuation of my quintessential Confession Series. So here they are, in no particular order: Confession # 179 – I ate dried cat food as a kid. Not just one time, either; I seem to remember several occasions. Bleh.

Whoops Confession of the Day

Confession #1,340: I already broke goal #1. It’s almost four am, I’m watching the 1980’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer and quasi studying, and I’m not even a little sleepy. Maybe it doesn’t count if I never go to bed…

Ready…Aim…Smite!!!

Today, I’d like to talk a little bit about sacrifice. In most of the world’s greater cultures, sacrifice is a central principle of life. Christians believe that in order to become “saved,” one must follow the example of Christ’s sacrifice by choosing God’s will over their own desires. Buddhism holds that one must deny oneself the […]

Guilty Pleasure # 278: Historical Nookie

Having always been an English history buff, I’ve spent countless hours gobbling up any theatrical accounts of my family history (especially where royalty, intrugue and cool costumes are involved). And though it reddens me to admit it, I’ve recently become a bit obsessed with the Tudors on Showtime. Now, I know what you must be […]

Food of the Lonely

Blehh. I’ve just eaten half a bag of chips with salsa and stale birthday cake for dinner. This can’t bode well. Mummy, am I going to die? If this is how eternally single people eat, I’m afraid. Maybe if I get a roomate my nutrition when I’m by myself at home will somewhat improve. As […]

Blargh.

Tonight, I was so blitzingly tired that I could barely think straight. Straightly. Straightified. Okay wait I AM so tired I can barely think. At all. Anyway, so why am I writing this instead of sleeping? That is an excellent question. I think it’s because I just needed to rant. The sad part though is […]