VIII No, YOU don’t get it. I am breaking up with YOU. I call dibs on first.
VII You can’t stay with me. I totally respect that. I’ll leave, in your car.
VI #IHateYou. @YouAreTheWorstEver. Spell it out, moron.
V Tell me you’re sorry. I won’t believe you mean it. One lie, for the road.
IV Your friends are losers. Halo isn’t a career. You’ll all die alone.
III Your mom hated me. That’s what you told me, liar. She’ll hate this one more.
II You smell like cabbage. Your socks are always filthy. “Style choice,” my ass. Jerk.
I I really hate you. But not as much as Glenn Beck. I guess that’s something.
It’s not because I’m liberal And you’re a republican. Or because I’m Irish Romanian And you’re Italian American. It’s not due to circumstance Or bad timing, or astrology. In fact, I categorically reject Your itemized apology. Because it wasn’t misunderstanding Or a case of “square peg, round hole” Any more than it’s surprising When the […]
Get out of my headspace. Get out of my circles. I don’t want to see you, Or speak your name. I banish you from me. I bind your power to harm me. I ball up your influence, And throw it far away. Your energy is toxic. Your intentions are unworthy. I am immune […]
Dear Graffiti Artist, Why? In the name of Andy Warhol, why? Seriously, why would you do something like that? What is the point? Why climb that overpass, and risk getting pancaked by an oncoming train, Just to tell Joe that he “Sux Ballz?” And you didn’t even spell it properly. Unless you’re from some obscure […]
A penny for your dirty thoughts A pin for your cheating lips. If a picture’s worth a thousand words I hope your counterfeit canvas rips. Until you know what it feels like Your glossy, plastic eyes will stray. Toward any strange, skirted target So I’m taking your buttons away. When you cheat, […]
I always loved fairy stories, With handsome, prince-filled, Happily Ever Afters. Like that ONE with the missing glass shoe, Or the TWO kids who get lost in the woods, Or the THREE pigs who build houses. The first time I saw you, I knew we would be EPIC, Like one of those stories […]
Six stops. Six stops, including a ten-minute changeover in Newark. That’s how long it took you to get up the courage To let me down “easily.” Six stops. Six, two-minute stops, as mandated by the New Jersey transit authority Or God-Knows-Whoever-the-Fuck is in charge of counting How we waste our lives. Six. Motherfucking. Stops. […]
In girl time, five minutes is forever. That’s what you used to say, right? When I’d say, “I’ll just be another five minutes,” You would roll your eyes and say, “Five minutes in girl time is FOREVER.” And maybe you were right, actually. Maybe that’s why I feel so sucked dry Of happiness and […]
(Note: It really helps if you read it aloud, and YELL the ALL CAPS parts.) I woke up today and thought HEY, I’m ALONE in the world With no one to CARE If I live, or DIE. And guess what? That’s YOUR FAULT. Yesterday, I was HAPPY. I thought the world was FAIR And KARMA […]
I hope you choke On the lies you told On the promises you made And the kisses you stole. I hope they burn Like white hot stars All the way to the bone I hope they scar. I hope you remember Every secret I gave you You promised to carry them I hope […]
Fall into a fantasy, Slip into a lie. Either way, I’ll break your heart. Either way, you’ll lie. “Too good to be true” is false, Because “happily” isn’t “ever.” “Come what may” is speculation, And “maybe someday” is never. Give me today and I’ll be glad For the present moment only. If I […]
You never tell me anything Except what I don’t want to hear When I don’t want to hear it. You never say “I love you” Except when you’ve hurt me Or when I say it first. You never apologize for anything Until you get caught in the act And you have no other […]
I’m just a junkie Looking for another fix Someone to break me Unmake me, again. I’m just a lover Fighting the wrong fight Hoping for someone To reopen my wounds. I’m just a liar Telling the same story Wondering why the ending Never seems to change. I’m just a […]
Passion lends itself to poetry Much better than love. Even better than sadness. Anger is mother’s milk For the lyrical spirit Desperation is fuel. You can’t make an omelet Without breaking some eggs. And you can’t break through To the heart of the matter Until you feel what it’s like To shake with powerless […]
“Careful,” you said. “Don’t get too close to the edge, Or you’ll FALL.” And you gripped me tight Around the waist To keep me from doing just that, Softly, you kissed me By the giant Christmas Tree In Times Square, which was glowing. And I felt the same way From the inside out, I Tightly, […]
Who gets the dog? The geriatric dog We adopted—purely by accident— Twelve summers ago At that campsite just outside That crappy little town With only one gas station We got stuck in overnight Because the pump ran out of gas. It RAN out of GAS. (The gas station did.) Do you remember that? We […]
For years, my subconscious has been trying to solve The Mystery of You When you show up in my dreams, sometimes we’re friends Sometimes we’re enemies But we’re never Total Strangers, The way we are now I dreamt of you again last night We were going to the movies, but we got lost, together […]
You’re like lyrics To a song that won’t Get out of my head. Elusive. Maddening. Viral. You’re the sickness Clinging to my lungs in winter. Grasping. Weakening. Chill. You’re the elements Like water, rain or hurricane. Torrential. Destructive. Breathtaking. You’re my own Personal poltergeist Always. Lurking. Unsettling. Haunting. […]